LORELAI: [Sighs] Hey, Luke.
LUKE: I saw you come in. I was gonna get to you, okay?
LUKE: If you don’t like the service, you can go somewhere else.
LORELAI: Who could not like the service?
LUKE: I’m busy. You ready to order?
LORELAI: Coffee for now. Is everything okay?
LUKE: You’re not gonna eat?
LORELAI: No, I just came in for coffee and to show you something. We got the sample stationery and postcards for the inn.
LORELAI: You know, the stationery and the postcards that you leave in the guests’ room so that they can write a letter home saying, “Having a great time- wish you were here.” Which, of course, they don’t, because you were the thing they were trying to get away from in this first place.
LUKE: Nobody uses that stuff.
LORELAI: Oh, sure they do.
LUKE: I have never once stayed in a hotel and used the stationery or written a postcard. Are you gonna order?
LORELAI: I did order, and what is with you?
LUKE: Nothin’. I’m fine. The paper’s fine. The postcards are fine. I don’t know why you’re showing them to me anyhow.
LORELAI: Because you are an investor in the inn. I want to keep you apprised of the goings-on.
LUKE: I am not an investor. I loaned you money.
LORELAI: That is what investors do.
LUKE: An investor goes to meetings.
LORELAI: We’re having a meeting.
LUKE: They’re involved in the business decisions.
LORELAI: Hello…stationary. Decide — yes, no.
LUKE: [Sighs] I’ll get your coffee.
PARIS: You might as well stick your head in a sugar bowl.
RORY: If you can find one big enough.
PARIS: You won’t be able to eat like that forever, you know.
RORY: What are you getting?
PARIS: All bran. Asher turned me on to it.
RORY: He’s a romantic.
PARIS: He wants me to live a long time and be healthy. That is romantic.
RORY: Okay. Just a joke. No reflection on your man-friend.
RORY: This is humiliating.
LORELAI: Oh, no, we passed humiliating two minutes ago.
RORY: Luke’s gonna be completely out of doughnuts by the time we get there. […]
KIRK: How we doing back there?
RORY: We’re doing fine, Kirk.
KIRK: I figure this baby’s gonna be a real money…
LORELAI: A real money- moneywhat, Kirk?
RORY: Kirk, can you breathe?
[Kirk gasps for breath.]
LORELAI: Talk to us.
RORY: Hit the handlebars three times if you can breathe and two if you can’t. [He hit once.]
LORELAI: What does once mean?
RORY: That he couldn’t make it to twice?
LORELAI: Kirk. Kirk, stop, please.
KIRK: Just for a second. Then we’ll be on our way… like the wind.
LORELAI: Okay, you know what, Kirk? This has been really fun, but I think we’ll just hoof it the rest of the way.
KIRK: But the ride wasn’t over yet.
RORY: Yeah, but we don’t want to hog the cab.
LORELAI: ‘Cause there’s only one.
RORY: But we’ll tell our friends.
KIRK: What was wrong with the ride?
LORELAI: Uh, nothing. I mean, it’s great for tourists who are new to the town and want to make sure they don’t miss a thing.
KIRK: I wasn’t going that slow.
LORELAI: No, you just maybe need a little more training before tourist season kicks in. You know, take a spinning class or buy some legs.
RORY: Sorry, Kirk.
KIRK: You will be sorry. [Calling after them] You’ll be sorry you turned down the chance to ride in Stars Hollow’s first…
RORY: Now he’s gonna hate us forever.
LORELAI: No, he’s not. He’s just gonna hate us till something shiny comes by.
KIRK: [Riding past them with ease] Well, well, well. I guess it wasn’t me that was slowing things down. I guess it was my big, fat cargo.
KIRK: Freshman 15!
KIRK: Can’t wait to get my doughnut!
LORELAI: Stay away from my doughnut, Kirk! I mean it! It’s my doughnut! Freak!
[Only two couples are left: Kirk and his partner, and another couple. The woman of the other couple falls to the ground]
KIRK: They’re out! They’re out! We won! We won! [runs over to Miss Patty and wakes her up]
MISS PATTY: Oh, oh, oh. Taylor, wake up! It’s over. Taylor, blow the horn.
TAYLOR: [asleep on some chairs] …a quarter right out of your ear.
MISS PATTY: Taylor, the horn. Oh, for Pete’s Sake. [Patty blows the air horn] Okay, Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a winner!
[Lorelai rushes over to them]
LORELAI: Wait, what are you doing? I’m here, I’m standing, I used my yellow card!
KIRK: I win, I win! I win, I win, I win, I win!
LORELAI: You didn’t win! I’m still here! Patty, where’s Rory?
MISS PATTY: Oh, she ran off the floor a little while ago, honey.
LORELAI: What? No!
MISS PATTY: For the fifth year in a row, ladies and gentlemen, the marathon winner is Donna Delain and Kirk!
[Lorelai sees Rory across the gym, and she walks over to her]
LORELAI: Rory, what happened? Where did you go? [sees that Rory is crying] Oh, Rory, honey! Oh.
[Lorelai and Rory hug while Kirk runs around the gym with the trophy]
JESS: Dean’s a jerk. Yelling at you like that, breaking up in front of everybody…the guy’s a total jerk.
RORY: No, he’s not. He’s right. Everything he said. All those things about you and me, all those things about me lying to him, and messing with his head. He was right. Well, wasn’t he? Fine, he was right about me, then. Now go away.
JESS: He was right… about all of it.
RORY: So, what now?
JESS: You’re definitely broken up with Dean?
RORY: Yeah, I’m definitely broken up with Dean.
JESS: Okay. I have to go take care of something then.
Lorelai: With Max, it was the first time I was finally like ‘Hey, here it is, that one person who will always be there for me.’ And then, I turned around, and it’s suddenly ‘Oops, wrong, keep moving.’
Luke: Why are you telling me this?
Lorelai: I don’t have many people in my life who are in my life permanently, forever. They will always be there for me, I will always be there for them. There’s Rory and Sookie, this town…and you. I mean at least I think I’ve got…
Luke: You do.